Greetings and salutations; beautiful loved ones; we are one!
I’m reevaluating my life; my existence here on earth; on this big blue marble. And for far too long I’ve looked at my life as extremely difficult and indeed it has been. But I’ve been looking at my life from a jaundiced eye. And when I observe my life without the emotional attachments as a victim, I could consider the difficulty as gift from the universe/God or Divine Intelligence; and is a testing of metal if you will; and when you really think about it; why not and why not me? When you are birthed into a family, you become a quote unquote; family member. That means you become whatever (or not) what your parents or equivalent thereof; whomever and whatever THEY want you to be.
When the parents are well off, the child’s education is commonly paid for, maybe the offspring might inherit a car or a condo or both, but in poor families you’re lucky to live to adulthood; or graduate from high school for that matter. But what if…what if your life was predestined; what if it is you that determines your destiny by your will? It would certainly be a devastating tragedy to ill mannered, brats to realize that they were their worst enemy.
And really, we are all sparks of the Divine. What if your “individual spark” decided to BE born; with you choosing the experiences you’ve had and the parents you ended up with? The mounting drama or lack thereof in your life, all of it. Yes, YOU choose even how people treat you. Choice before being born into this realm is not quite as farfetched as some might think. Putting the ball back in your court is something to think about.
People don’t believe that there are parallel universes either but now as an observer of your life, WHAT if; naturally changes how you see yourself. So, your life is actually you’re “faults” and the words you speak that set in motion a natural chain of events that happens to you; you’d want change things immediately, wouldn’t you? You can think outside the box if you want to; you just can never again repackage a box of goods the way you received them.
I’ve always heard preachers talk about eternal life and life everlasting. But what if life is and has always been eternal? An eternal spark from GOD/ Divine intelligence/ the universe and all that existed before we came into existence? I have found it to be just that.
I was an unusual child; (gifted; some people called it). I would tell my mother some things off hand after a strong observation of something or other, and then those things would come true. How did I know? I didn’t. I didn’t know what I was saying. Things would come thru me and I’d speak it.
For example: My mom and I happen to be looking out the window and were noticing our old neighbor, Mr. William Barry; who was working in his yard. Mother mentioned that Mr. Barry’s son was also his grandson. (An illicit union between father and daughter). I didn’t know what that meant because I was young and “innocent”. But I said to my mom: “Mr. Barry is gonna go to the hospital and get out and every body’s gonna think he’s fine and then he’s gonna die.” Well, he did die soon after that. Was I prophesying? I was always compelled to share what was coming thru but what I didn’t realize was that some people are uncomfortable with that sort of premonition.
Years later when she reminded me about our conversation, I had all but forgotten about it, but then I remembered many years after that.
I mean, stuff like that was happening to me all the time; my entire life. Can you imagine, a life time of premonitions and unique experiences and you KNOW they are what you’re experiencing. My mom knew and accepted my natural peculiarities. In our home my parents hung horseshoes over the entrances to it; for luck or protection?
When I was little, I knew I had been here before. My life was a steady stream of Deja vu. I once remember saying: I’m doing this again? Once I saw a photograph of a woman on the running board of a model T Ford; and got a sharp pang in my gut because I recognized the woman as me. That was a shock to my system. As I grew up I researched the supernatural images I was receiving.
I moved away from my hometown of Cincinnati, Ohio. Feeling the physical weight of having lived past life times, but ignoring inward ancient echoes wasn’t going to make them go away. I was always compelled to “share” what came to me when I was in the presence of some people, but everybody wasn’t opened to the wisdom and knowledge that was coming thru a teenager; not even me.
I had lots of friends that were like me and I thought that everyone was the same. Boy was I wrong. I was head-in-the-sand; naive. So I found myself alone a lot. I started drinking and getting drunk. I hated my abilities. They frightened me. I didn’t want them. It was pretty much like in the movie Ghost; where Whoopi’s character becomes a spokeswoman for crossed-over people who kept jumping in her character’s path. The people who had crossed over would bug me, like they did her to get my attention to pass along information to the living. Somehow their contact person was always standing somewhere close to me. Yeah, I was pretty amused by others reaction to me. And floored by the reaction I had to myself.
But still, each of us determines the outcome of every situation in each relationship every single moment by our own actions and decisions. And every child deserves to be nurtured and guided with love by someone with compassion. Okay, so we can’t always get what we need.
I have limited memories of my child hood; most of what I remember wasn’t good. When I was alone, I often felt I was being observed, by who or what I didn’t know. But I felt an undeniable presence, and more than one. I didn’t know what I didn’t know, but what I did know in my gut was that that there was something that made itself known to me. I learned to accept that I was unusual. I had no idea how to emulate anyone else.
I was also confused by my family and felt I didn’t fit in. What kind of a father makes a statement to his child such as: Who’d ever love you? What kind of a father threatens to put his daughter in an orphanage? . My father was a mean, mean man. My sister Mary; from dad’s first marriage told me so. I thought it was just me. Dad finally admitted that by the time he had a second family he was over it. One day I had my bags packed and was ready to go to the orphanage. I was unloved by the members of my immediate family. The painful things that they said and denied me left a mark to this day; but I can forgive them. Hugs from my dad were nonexistent and my mother wasn’t demonstrative either.
Sure, I could be considered lucky because I had a mom and dad. I was constantly criticized, never encouraged; no bed time stories and laughter for me was rare. There was no warm and fuzzy in that house, and we weren’t allowed to socialize.
My last day in high school should have been a joyous time for me. I asked my parents if I could have some friends over. But at the last minute my high school graduation party was cancelled because I forgot to take out the trash. Now that I think about it they were never planning to allow me to have a party. I learned later that my sister Diane and I were sent invitations from daddy’s job; General Electric to come work for them after high school, but we never received the letters.
My parents use to joke and laughed about the mistake/accident they constantly said I was. I heard it all the time. What was I doing wrong? Their teasing wasn’t funny to me. I never found the incident humorous at all and as a result of their treatment of me I attempted suicide more than once. Only recently did I find out that mom and dad seemed to be really in love when I was born. (They should have told me that). Mother did admit I wasn’t her favorite.
So much had happened to me in my early life that I was an open wound from being smacked up side my head on a regular basis by one brother and being turned upside down and placed backwards in a small closet; so I couldn’t reach the handle to get out by another brother, and being molested by a family member. And when I finally came to and remembered, I told my mother about it in 1990 she became angry with me. She resented my mentioning it and asked me why I had waited so long. The only thing I could think to say was, I didn’t remember. I was only jolted when my friend Sabrina (she’s no longer with us) questioned me about my childhood. I told my mom that the mind has a way of protecting itself and it certainly does. Children develop coping skills to deal with trauma. I’m just grateful that I don’t have multiple personalities... or do I?
I’ve spent the majority of my adult life reading self help books to better educate myself about emotional pain. And I’m into the metaphysical. I’ve taught myself and I’d been learning, growing, meditating and praying for breakthroughs in my life so that I can continue to move forward. I desire to be in great relationships. I would like a fabulous relationship with a naturally spiritual man. I had also hoped each man I gave myself to; was THE one, and they never were. My standards weren’t high enough.
I married my only boyfriend right out of high school to get away from my parents; October 31st; big mistake. I didn’t realize what day it was and I didn’t know myself. I’d never dated; wasn’t allowed to. What did I know? My dad didn’t allow us to go anywhere. My sister Janette from her first marriage pushed the limits and broke house rules. (She is also no longer with us). Would I want to go back and relive my life again? No! but if I did there are definitely things I would change.
When I was a small I remember lying on the grass as all children will do, and with my eyed closed tight I could see vivid pulsing colors. Years later, I recognized those colors as the colors of each chakra.
What I am willing to do now that I’m a lot wiser is to share bit by bit; the things that I wished someone would have told me. The first thing to know is that we human beings are of the same make-up. And we have to be more loving and compassionate because we are all one. I will share more with you loved ones later.
Mary Godfrey-Wylson http://www.marygodfrey.com still uses the name. The idea of using "Faces and Colors of Emotion" as a theme is to show how we both hide ourselves emotionally. Then by camouflaging what we really feel inside, we do our best to put our best face forward.
My three dimensional characters are larger than life. Four of them are currently available as a set of post cards on recycled paper.
I decided to sing with a wedding-orchestra called "The Bradley Young Orchestra", when I was asked to change lyrics to a song that was supposedly too deep for "Klub Kids". My former record company wanted me to cater to "Klub Kids" basic need to get lost in thoughtless dancing while they're in a drug induced state. What a waste, of course now I create music and art without interference from some yuck that just got here.
I love what I am doing now! The person who suggested that I take singing seriously was Sid Maginnis, the guitarist of the "World's Most Dangerous Band" on the Dave Letterman's Show. At that time he was in a band called Borrowed Tyme. They played in and around Cincinnati while he and the band lived on a farm in Union Kentucky. I eventually came to Chicago to pursue my dreams. Eventually, I ended up singing with Ministry, CO-writing "I wanted to tell her" and "Foxhole trot". I have launched many an independent record company that are too numerous to name here!
If any of you have any of my music, make me a CD. Some songs I have recorded are, "When Love Calls", "R U Gonna B There?", "Inside Out", "It Doesn't Matter", "Gotta get U back", "Me and You", "Good Love".
"Wrap You In The Color of my Love" that I originally wrote with Dean Anderson, for Jeffery Osborne, was instead aired on the Bernie Mac Show.
"I Feel You", " Gotta Give a Little Loving', "Was That All You Wanted", and "Falling" were recorded with "Ten City".
"It's all right" was recorded with Nick Tremulis, separately from the Nick Tremulis album. These songs are the ones that I can think of right now!
I am currently writing with Dean Anderson and Mike Egan of "Cut-Digital". We will have something out soon.
Coming soon: "Ye Old Art-Spa Gallery Shoppe".
I am looking forward to hearing from you, thanks for sticking around!